It is important to experience sex as it relates to you. Great sex is relaxed. I am a therapist. The frequency of your sexual contact will make both of you feel connected, and reduces the stress in your relationship. Candlelight is great for making any body look more beautiful. Most of us think, if you really loved me, you would just know what I like. For women, if they aren't in the "mood," it often means that they are either not aroused, or they are frustrated with you. Recognize sex is healthy for both of you. Baby-proof your sex life.
Most of us will try to move, not because it hurts, but because it feels too darn good. The key is to simply relax, have fun and make the other person feel special. Yes, it is important. It can be what I call in my book, "maintenance sex. That's different than communicating. Great sex leads to a great relationship and a happy life. You deserve to have great sex and you deserve great advice. Women need arousal before they feel desire. Recognize sex is healthy for both of you. Possible theories include that sexually active people may have more immunity since they are exposed to many more infectious agents than non-sexually active people. It may also boost the production of an immune substance that helps fight colds and flu. A black negligee can make most tummies disappear. Joy, ecstasy, happiness, they are all difficult feelings to get used to. Great sex is planned. Great sex is private. Experiment with something new. But it is in your own private experience within that you will learn what you need in order to experience "great sex" moments. Tell us you can't wait to see us naked, kiss our neck, leave a note in our lunch, put a rose on the bed. You might find that you snap at each other less, you are more affectionate and you want sex more often as a result. There is a lot of advice out there, and some good books about how to have better sex. Do you shut down and turn off your desire by rolling over and telling yourself you will do it when you are "less tired," or "less angry" or "when the dishes are done"? Your partner should encourage that part of you, because it adds excitement and juiciness to the sex for both of you. If you feel guilty about leaving the kids, remember they will benefit from having happy parents. Afterward, resist the urge get up and shower or use the bathroom. Sometimes people tell you it doesn't matter how often you make love, but it does, especially for men.
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