Certain measures like using a diaphragm or taking the Pill can give her the feeling of having greater control over her own fertility and hence more confident of enjoying sexual intimacy. I feel I am one in a million men who has not had sex with his wife even after 3 years. I am also seriously considering divorce as an option. Nevertheless, sex is a psychological feeling and if the mind is not properly tuned, someone may never enjoy it. She may or may not be consciously aware of the root cause.
Robert Dear Anonymous, you do not need to be depressed over this, because your situation is caused by many things. My advice to you is that a relationship is not all about sex, but rather a combination of aspects like love, care, respect and patience. The first and second time it hurt so much, but as time went on she got comfortable with it. Ojambo The question is, how many times have you had sex with her? Nevertheless, sex is a psychological feeling and if the mind is not properly tuned, someone may never enjoy it. Due to apprehension, the woman involuntarily tightens the muscles of her vagina, making penetration painful and sometimes impossible. Try not to force your girlfriend during the process because if you do, both of you will never enjoy sex. She says it is not that she does not believe in losing virginity before marriage, she is just afraid. Minimizing pain and maximizing pleasure. A woman's sexuality is usually heart oriented. Ask you healthcare provider of the impact on your sex life if your girlfriend is taking birth control pills, antidepressants, sedatives, anti-seizure drugs or painkillers. After you bring up these questions to your partner, the two of you may need some time to think to yourselves. It is important that you and your partner have a strategy for birth control, and have spoken about what you would do if she became pregnant. Also, you need to prepare her mentally, otherwise if you rush, you will always hurt her. No medication can help in this situation. Dear Alice, My girlfriend and I have been going out for more than two years now. Love and sex by kalyani10 Sexual intimacy is a natural part of a healthy, mutually satisfying adult relationship. If she is comfortable, take her to a doctor or a Planned Parenthood clinic where healthcare professionals can impart information on the latest in contraception. I encourage you to have enough time of fore play and you can also use lubricating creams to make her ready and able to enjoy. My girlfriend is afraid of intimacy Advertisement The problem Dear Heart to Heart, I am really having a bad time and I feel depressed because I have failed to make love to my girlfriend. Cultural conditioning In some cultures, having sex before marriage is taboo and restrictions may operate in a multiple of ways — in some societies sex with someone you are not married to can be looked upon as a grave sin while in others such a notion can be extended to one where the woman is thought to have brought shame and dishonor upon her family by her expression of sexuality. Wishing you all the best. Every time I feel the urge, she puts me away saying she has pain in the vagina or headache or stomach-ache and so on. Penetration phobia is usually a psychological phenomenon. There may be an STD that could be causing her to feel pain. Sexual abuse One of the most significant causes of fear of sex is a history of sexual abuse.
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